Bad Doctor Doctor Jokes

They may be pretty terrible (well, most of them), but our jokes section wouldn't be complete without some of the old classics…

"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"

"Doctor, Doctor, what can I do? I think I'm a pair of curtains?"
"Pull yourself together man!"

"Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge?"
"What's come over you?"
"Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach."

"Doctor, Doctor ,I think I'm god..."
"How did that start?"
"In the beginning there was darkness......"

"Doctor, Doctor, Can I have second opinion?"
"Of course, come back tomorrow!"

"Doctor, Doctor, I think I've broken my neck"
"Don't worry - keep your chin up!"

"Doctor Doctor, my daughter has just swallowed my pen - what shall I do?"
"Use a pencil!"

"Doctor Doctor, what can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar..."
"I find that very hard to believe!"

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards..."
"I'll deal with you later!"

"Doctor, Doctor ,you've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"

"Doctor, Doctor ,my irregular heartbeat is really frightening me."
"Don't worry - we'll soon put a stop to it!"

"Doctor, Doctor, Please help me. I think I'm invisible...."
"Next Please!"

"Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bell?"
"Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!"

"Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a cat..."
"How long has this been going on?"
"Oh, since I was a kitten I guess!"

"Doctor, Doctor, I've got insomnia"
"Just sit on the edge of the bed. You'll soon drop off!"

"Doctor, Doctor, I've got wind! Can you give me something?"
"Yes - here's a kite!"

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management