Doctors Say The Funniest Things Part II

More strange but true extracts from the world of medical reports…

The skin was moist and dry.(Neat trick...)

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. (Now that's dedication...)

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

- Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

- Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

- She is numb from her toes down. (standing on her head?!)

- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

- The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Coming from Detroit, this man has no children (what are you trying to say about Detroit?)

- Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

- The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.

- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

And my personal favourite:

- Patient's fluid intake is good, mostly beer.

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management