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Doctors Say The Funniest Things Part II More strange but true extracts from the world of medical reports… The skin was moist and dry.(Neat trick...) - She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. - Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. (Now that's dedication...) - The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. - The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. - The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. - Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. - I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. - The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. - Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles. - She is numb from her toes down. (standing on her head?!) - While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. - The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. - Coming from Detroit, this man has no children (what are you trying to say about Detroit?) - Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress. - Patient was alert and unresponsive. - When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. - The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet. - Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. And my personal favourite: - Patient's fluid intake is good, mostly beer. Friday, 25 August 2006 © 2006 Bromley Health Management |
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