You Know You're Getting Older When…

Are you maturing like a fine wine, or fermenting like a rotten grape? Look for these tell-tale clues...

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

- The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

- You feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere.

- Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

- You get winded playing chess.

- Your children begin to look middle-aged.

- You finally reach the top of the ladder,and you find it leaning against the wrong wall.

- You join a health club and don't go.

- You begin to outlive enthusiasm

- You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.

- Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.

- A dripping faucet causes uncontrollable bladder urge.

- You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

- You look forward to a dull evening.

- You walk with your head held high trying to get used to your bifocals.

- Your favourite part of the newspaper is "Twenty-five Years Ago Today."

- You turn out the light for economic rather than romantic reasons.

- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

- Your knees buckle but your belt won't.

- You regret all those temptations you resisted.

- You're 17 around the neck and 44 around the waist, and 105 around the golf course.

- You stop looking forward to your next birthday.

- After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.

- Dialing long distance wears you out.

- You are startled the first time someone's calls you Old-timer.

- You remember today that yesterday was your wedding anniversary.

- You just can't stand people who are intolerant.

- The best part of your day is over when the alarm clock goes off.

- You burn the midnight oil after 9:00 p.m.

- Your back goes out more often than you do.

- A fortune teller offers to read your face.

- Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl walk by.

- The little old gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

- You get all your exercise being a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.

- You've got too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

- You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management