World's Worst Referrals

Why deal with awkward patients when you can palm them off on someone else with a stroppy letter?

Dear colleague, Pain chest since long time. I think there might be something wrong with him. Hoping your kind attention.

Dear Sir,Big heart. Second opinion please.

GPs referral to a small A & E unit in rural Ireland, circa 1982:
Dear Doctor, Please suture this man's hand. I couldn't be boddered [sic].

GP to outpatient clinic:
Dear Dr W,
Regards Mrs X, Bradford-upon-Avon,
Please see and advise.
Reply from outpatients department
Dear Dr Y,
I have seen your patient and advise you to do the same.

GPS referral to casualty unit, written on a torn piece of cereal packet (!):
Dear Doctor, Query Heart.
Reply:
Dear Doctor, Heart Present

GPs letter to a consultant Radiologist
Re: John Smith. This 57 year old builder is requesting a CAT scan on his lumbar spine to be performed on a private, fee-paying basis. Mr Smith is a malcontent of the highest order and holds a very warped view of life in general.
I see no harm in acceding to his request, although he expresses his contempt for orthopaedic surgeons, chiropractors, osteopaths, acupuncturists and, not least, GPs, so you might as well join the list.

Dermatology summary letter:
We investigated this patient for latex sensitivity. She gets pinking of the lips when she blows up balloons. She has also had problems with intercourse that may have been related to condom exposure.
I could see no point in re-prick testing her.

Dear Mr X,
I should be grateful if you could see Mrs Y, who has halitosis of both great toes.

Kindly see four-year old James, who has had a cough since yesterday. Also, the family pet dog has had a similar barking cough for the last few days.

GPs referral to a urology clinic:
I would be grateful if you would see this man, who is complaining of impertinence

Urology clinic summary:
I saw Mr X in my surgery on January 17. He complained of impudence during sexual intercourse and I wondered if this is related to his beta-blocker.

Letter sent by Local Health Authority to an expectant Mother:
Dear Lucy, we have been informed that you are pregnant by your GP. Your local team of midwives will be contacting you shortly.

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management