The Rules Of Work

Succeeding in life is all about figuring out the rules, and learning how to bend them. This page gets you half way there.

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules"
George Bernard Shaw

- The first 90% of a project takes 10% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

- If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the backside.

- Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

- After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

- The more rubbish you put up with, the more rubbish you are going to get.

- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

- When your boss talks about improving productivity, they are never talking about themself.

- If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit.

- Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous".

- Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

- To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

- Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

- Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

- If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

- You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

- The people who go to conferences are the ones who dont' need to.

- If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

- At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

- When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management