Strange Stories

From the amusing to the bewildering, these are some of the strangest medical stories ever heard. But can they be true? You decide…

Overheard in a consultation room:
DOCTOR: Are you on HRT?
PATIENT: No, Income support.

Nurse talking to an elderly, obviously distresses patient
"No Mr's Smith, not the HEARSE, I'm sending the NURSE!"

Bad-tempered Surgeon to Nurse: For Heaven's sake nurse, get me my auriscope!
Distracted young nurse: But Doctor, I don't even know your star sign.

A 28 year old male was brought into the ER after an attempted suicide. The man had swallowed several nitroglycerin pills and a bottle of vodka. When asked about the bruises about his head and chest, he said that they were from ramming himself into the wall in an attempt to make the nitroglycerin explode.

Jack the Ripper or Sandra the Cleaning Lady?
South African newspaper the Cape Times reported this incident a few years ago.
Over a period of a few months, every Friday staff would find one of their patients dead in their bed. It was always the same bed. First, it was passed off as a coincidence. Then, staff began to suspect some terrible disease was killing their patients.
Then, one day a nurse watched the cleaner as she came in on a Friday. The maid would enter the ward, unplug the life support system by the side of the bed, plug in her floor polisher, clean, plug the patient back in and leave with one more dead patient. Almost the perfect crime.

A woman takes her first child to the Hospital for a routine check-up. The nurse consults her records and notices the child's name is Urine (pronounced Ureen-ie). "That's a very unusual name" she comments politely, "Is it a family name?"
The women explains that Urine was very sick after she was born and had to stay in intensive care for several weeks. Too distressed, the mother had not yet chosen a name for her daughter, but the nurses promised they would pray for her.
One day, the mother returns from the bathroom to find a note written on her daughters incubator that read "Please Save Urine". touched by this display of support, the mother knew that they had chosen a name for her daughter.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer(!)

A young doctor is staying at a hotel in County Cork for a medical conference. Late in the middle of the night, he is woken by the hotel owner.
"Doctor!" he cries. "We've found some bones in one of the walls. Can you come and tell us if they are human?"
The doctor is led down to the cellar, where part of the wall has come away to reveal a small cavity with a skeleton inside. Dangling around the shoulders is a gold medallion, inscribed with the words: Irish Hide-and-Seek Champion 1927.

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management