Wild Reporting

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Wild Reporting

It always pays to proof read before you publish... The following quotes all appeared in newspapers and magazines. So it's not just the doctors who get it wrong...

- From an article on stomach trouble:
"Doctors are beginning to accept that stomach ulcers are infectious. They are caused by a bug called Helicopter".

- From More!:
"Your chance of catching an STD during your period is greater, because the blood changes the PhD level in the vagina".

- The Sunday Times explanation for the extinction of the Dinosaurs:
"The extinction may well have occurred when a steroid hit the Earth.

- The Worksop Bugle reports one reader
"Recovered from a tuna of the kidney".

- Daily Mail:
"A transplant surgeon has called for a ban on 'kidneys-for-ale' operations".

- Local paper:
"On the sunday before Christmas, there will be a pot-luck supper in the church hall, followed by prayers and medication".

- From the South Wales Evening Post:
"Cash plea to aid dyslexic cildren"

- Q Magazine:
"In America, you can buy melatonin as a vitamin supplement. It is a hormone that your penile gland secretes when it gets dark".

- Health Education pamphlet on STDs:
"We don't know why, but it seems men don't get bacterial vaginosis".

- From the Health and Safety Practitioner:
"SORRY
We would like to apologise to readers for the late arrival of our March issue, which was entitled 'Flammable Materials: Controlling the Hazard!'.
The delay was caused by a fire at the printers".

- Advert from the British Medical Journal:
"FOR SALE: Real bone half-skeleton, in better condition than seller. £250".

- Notice in BBC canteen, Manchester:
"In the interests of Hygiene, please use tongues when picking up your Baked potatoes".

Friday, 25 August 2006

Jokes

Thought for the Day:

I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no.
- Richard Branson

SO YOU WANT TO STOP SMOKING ONCE AND FOR ALL?

There is no single magic approach to stopping smoking. It’s a learned behaviour (we’re not born smokers). There is a major psychological element as well as chemical dependency. No single formula, system or product will do the job. All they do is make the manufacturers richer. That’s why so many attempts fail.

Whilst there is no quick, easy way to quit smoking - if you want to find out how you can stop once and for all - call Edith Maskell now on FREEPHONE 0800 093 1178 for a FREE initial consultation.

Email Bromley Health Management