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Relax

Jokes

You Know You're Stressed When…

Stress is an evil thing. So here's a few tell-tale symptoms that you might recognise…

1) You can achieve a "Runner's High" by standing up.

2) You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...

3) You can see individual air molecules vibrating.

4) You wonder if you really need to brew the coffee, or if you can just eat it.

5) You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

6) Things becomes "Very Clear."

7) You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...

8) Your heart beat sounds like a 'catchy tune'.

9) You and Reality file for divorce.

10) You can skip without a rope.

11) It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.

12) You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.

13) You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...

14) Caffeine/ Indigestion tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

15) You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.

16) You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...

17) Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head went quiet, it was like losing your best friend.

18) You listen to your relaxation tapes on high speed.

19) On the way into work, you call your answering machine to leave reminders to yourself.

20) You tap your foot impatiently at the amount of time your microwave popcorn takes.

21) You take stop signs and red lights personally.

22) Your In-Box now has its own office.

Feeling Stressed? Try to keep these words of wisdom in mind...

Greg Anderson
...the Law of Stress-Hardiness...states that stress is not only to be expected but preferred...we can and should develop an positive, workable approach to stress management...Think of it. The perfect no-stress environment is the grave...When we change our perception we gain control. The stress becomes a challenge, not a threat. When we commit to action, to actually doing something rather than feeling trapped by events, the stress in our life becomes manageable.

Richard Saunders aka Poor Richard
Brain cells create ideas. Stress kills brain cells. Stress is not a good idea.

Peter McWilliams
From a medical point of view, negative thinking suppresses the immune system, raises the blood pressure, and creates a general level of stress and fatigue in the body. In short, infections, cardiovascular irregularities, the degeneration of muscles, and the random growth of unwanted cells get more opportunity.

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management

Jokes

Thought for the Day:

The happiness of life is made up of the little charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

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