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Jokes

The Bathroom Scales

How to lie to the bathroom scales and get away with it…

1) Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner... as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight.

2) Never weigh yourself with wet hair.

3) When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound.

4) Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off...to your advantage.

5) Always go to the bathroom first.

6) Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.

7) Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in, completely naked, of course.

8) Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully).

9) Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?).

10) Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack.Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped on normally.

REMEMBER - The scales never lie....

But the truth is always open for debate.

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management

Jokes

Thought for the Day:

I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no.
- Richard Branson

SO YOU WANT TO STOP SMOKING ONCE AND FOR ALL?

There is no single magic approach to stopping smoking.  It’s a learned behaviour (we’re not born smokers).  There is a major psychological element as well as chemical dependency.  No single formula, system or product will do the job. All they do is make the manufacturers richer.  That’s why so many attempts fail.

Whilst there is no quick, easy way to quit smoking - if you want to find out how you can stop once and for all - call Edith Maskell now on FREEPHONE 0800 093 1178 for a FREE initial consultation.

© Copyright Bromley Health Management 2006 [Please read our disclaimer]

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