Bad Bedside Manner

Things you don't want to hear during surgery…

- Better save that, we'll need it for the autopsy.

- Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

- Accept this sacrifice, Oh Great Lord of Darkness.

- Giles! Giles! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

- Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

- Damn, there go the lights again...

- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

- What's this doing here?

- That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!

- I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

- Don't worry, I think it is sharp enough.

- Oops! Has anyone seen my watch?

- That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.

- Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

- Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?

- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

- If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.

- Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.

- Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!

- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

- I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.

- Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.

Friday, 25 August 2006

© 2006 Bromley Health Management